An Introduction to a Scrunchie Enthusiast
Hello & welcome to Hayley's scrunchie!!! My scrunchie holds all my hair together and this blog will hold all my thoughts together. (Personal photo of me at Camp Crimson wearing one of about a dozen scrunchies I have) This summer I was a Small Group Leader at Camp Crimson, and our name tags say "Ask me about ___" You can put whatever you want on there, like campus involvement or favorite animals but mine said ask me about my spotify playlists . I am a huge music lover and switching to Spotify Premium a year and a half ago truly changed my life. I really love alternative and indie music, and there are so many bands out there it kinda freaks me out how much good music there is out in the world I've never even heard before. (Personal photo of when my best friend (left) and I (right) met the lead singer of Walk the Moon, one of my favorite bands) One of my favorite playlists is called Night Drive . There is such a specific feeling that come
Hi Hayley! Your story "Sky Siblings" is beyond cute, and I cannot wait to see where it goes! At first I thought you may be doing a portfolio, however it was clear to me once I saw that the story will be expanding from there. However, just to clear it up a little, maybe make the title "Introduction to the Sky Siblings" as the majority of the tale describes the characters. Nonetheless, you did a beautiful job in setting up the rest of the story. Also, I would add a direct link on your storybook to your comment wall, just to make it a tad easier to navigate here from there to add comments!
ReplyDeleteWhat a cute photo of your dog! He looks very thrilled about the comments coming in. I love your idea for your storybook! Who doesn't love some gossip over brunch? The idea for your storybook is very unique and I love the sibling aspect. You did a great job in setting up who the characters are and gave us a peak at what kind of stories to expect. I like that the narrator is one of the sibling because it makes it seem more real and their interactions seem more relatable. I know I love to downplay how dramatic I can be compared to my siblings! I am excited to see where this storybook goes next and what those sibling got up to. (By the way, I loved the title "I Know what Eos, Selene, and Helios Did Last Night." It really reminds me of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and that makes me thrilled!)
ReplyDeleteHey Hayley, fantastic idea for the Storybook Project. I am excited to see what you will do with this and I think you’ve done an excellent job with the introduction. I like the foreshadowing you have employed to hint at the stories to come. I wonder how the overall story will end. The frame you have prepared lends itself nicely to tell whatever stories you want within the overarching story. It might be fun to have the story book end with some kind of event resulting from the brunch. It might also be interesting to have the different characters interject into each other’s stories and explain “what really happened,” to the embarrassment or benefit of the storytelling character. Overall, I think you have set yourself up well with a good introduction and a number of different directions you could take this Storybook. I am excited to watch this project develop, good luck!
ReplyDeleteHello there Hayley! I want to say first of all that I love your use of the code style typing to include an address at the bottom of your story. It makes it quite interactive and I'm a definite fan of that! I would love for you to give a more defined description of each of the siblings, maybe even in the tone and thought of Eos if you wanted! So if I'm being invited to a brunch with the lot, I have more of an idea as to how the occasion might go. I also would love to know the relationship I have as the reader to the "sky siblings." Why did I get an invitation to a brunch and am I the only person invited outside of the family or are others also invited, making it like a brunch party? Is this just a random occasion or are we in celebration over something? Giving me some bits of context could answer so many small gap questions and build up your intro for a lengthy, concise setup. Overall I think it's a cute story project idea and I can't wait to read more. Good luck on your continued writing!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley! I just checked out your storybook site and introduction! I was very excited to see that your storybook will focus on Eos, Selene, and Helios. I am a big fan of a video game that reimagines Eos and Selene as helpful fairies that you can use as companions, so it is really cool for me to see more stories about them since I already like the characters. I enjoyed the humorous style of writing you used. I feel like this style is perfect for stories about siblings, since I bet we’ll be hearing about Eos, Selene, and Helios’ silly interactions at some point. I think your introduction is also great because it includes an invitation to their Sunday brunch. This provides us with information about what is probably coming next in your storybook. You also made a little invitation image for your intro as well, which I thought was pretty cool and unique. I am curious about if the invitation is really just aimed at the reader or if there is a mystery character that this is intended for. I’m sure we’ll find out later, but this is something I wondered about. I’m excited to see what else happens in your storybook!
ReplyDeleteAwesome introduction! I love Greek mythology and reading stories in this class based off of those. Your introduction was very creative and didn't feel drawn out, which is good! I particularly liked how it was written in a letter or email format. Kind of makes it feel like a real invite for the future stories. I think that you chose a great base for your stories and that you have a lot of possibilities as far as where your story could go!
ReplyDeleteI'm interested to see if you bring in any other Greek characters to this story line. I feel like that would bring another element to your story. Also, I am interested to see how you incorporate mortals into your story and their interactions with the gods. All in all, this was a great introduction! I am excited to see where you take this story and how you progress the plot line. Awesome work!
Hi Hayley! I really loved your banner choices, especially the stars image! I thought your introduction, 'dear mortals' was very catching and gives insight into where your story is going. You gave a peak into each of your main character's personalities and set the stage for how the stories will be told! I also thought it was really creative to make your own brunch invitation at the end! I found myself wondering how the brunch meetings started in the first place? Will you have the stories be told from only Eos's perspective or from all three sibling's views? The only suggestion I would have is that you could elaborate on why Zeus might have something else to say about the siblings ruling the planet. How is he related to your characters? I thought you did an amazing job introducing your storybook project and I am excited to hear about the sibling's brunch stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley! I like the premise of your story. Your website was really easy to navigate, and I read the Intro and the first story, Selene. You really did a great job of giving your characters enough humanity that I can picture the scene. You capture the sibling banter really well, and if you hadn't told me that they were gods, I could see it being an honest-to-god sibling brunch with wine and gossip. I wish I was actually invited. I think it'd be interesting to add some lines about their parentage. Not only would it help the reader get more backstory on the pantheon and how they relate to each other, but there's nothing more "sibling" than an argument about who's Mom's favorite. I'd love to read more! Great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the way your story is going. I think it is a very creative idea to do each of the siblings night as a new story. I think Selene's story was great and was also funny in the way the siblings interacted with it. I like that they feel the need to one up each other just like normal siblings.
The only thing I would say is to specify exactly who is who. I now know that Selene is the moon because of her story, but as far as dawn and sun I only know because of the word goddess or god. I think just actually pointing out who is who would be a big help for some.
I think your images are great and I really like that you actually made an E-vite for the brunch. That was creative and looks great.
Overall, good job on the stories so far!
Hello Hayley!
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed by your story book! I like the graphics that you have used. It goes very well with the theme of your story book. It is important to have great graphics because that will catch the eye of your audience! Also, I really do like the title of your story book. I was thinking to myself "Uh Oh! She knows the tea about the god and goddesses and that made me want to read more of your story book.
You creativity is great the idea of doing a new story for each sibling night is great. Oh and your introduction. When you said "What happens when the goddess of the dawn, the moon, and the sun god come together for brunch? You'll just have to wait and see." That made me want to skip the rest of the introduction and begin reading !
Hi Hayley! I just finished reading your Sky Siblings Intro and your story Selene. I have always been interested in mythology so I was excited to read your story! You did a really great job with your introduction. You set it up in a way that it was informative but it was still interesting to the reader. It set up your current and future stories really well and it was a great idea to do a different sibling each story.
ReplyDeleteI thought your Selene story was great! It had a lot of spunk and personality to it, especially with the very first sentence. I like how your story quickly turned into a romance. I have always been a sucker for a good romance story. The only critique I would have for you is that near the end, there was a ton of dialogue, which can be sometimes hard to read/follow along in that format. Otherwise, great job and I can't wait to read about the other Sky Siblings!
Hey Hayley!
ReplyDeleteI don't know much about these characters from Greek mythology but after reading what you have so far I feel pretty informed! I think the style of writing you used in the Selene story makes it perfectly clear to the reader what kind of characters they're interacting with. I felt like I could envision the scene taking place in my head clearly after reading your descriptions and the dialogue of the sisters. I think it was an excellent idea to have that little side comment by Eos in the story. I felt like that really embodied a true sisterly relationship. There's not much I can think of for suggestions, but perhaps it would be interesting to give Endymion a little more attention in the story? If you decided to include a little more of the conversation between him, Selene and Zeus I feel like it would be a very informational addition to the story. Overall, awesome writing! I'm looking forward to reading more in the future.
Hi Hayley, I really enjoyed reading your story Helios! It is really easy to follow and flows smoothly. I love how the “precious babies” were sheep and cattle. I think you do a great job of making this story seem realistic. I think you really captured the little brother—big sister relationship well. I also really enjoyed how you added bits of humor into your story, such as "Yeah she's right." Eos chimed in too. "All we can do is like, move the moon and sun with our minds." There were many more instances like this one that added humor and lightened the mood of the story. I did note one grammatical error: "Yeah! Odysseus and his crew are Gods know where – I believe this should say, “Yeah! Odysseus and his crew are only God knows where.” Also, I wasn’t able to find your author’s note, which provides context and your goal for your story. Lastly, have you thought about adding an image or some graphic to your home page? Overall, great job on your story!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a neat idea for a storybook project and I like how the informal nature of the brunch allows the three deities to joke and interrupt each other while telling their stories. I liked how you emphasized that they were siblings and made that affect the way they interacted with each other. In your first story, I think you did a good job of showing how much of an attention seeker Selene is and how she doesn't really care too much about the mortal she says she's in love with. It makes me wonder if there ever was a mortal she cared about, and if that ended poorly, maybe it's something her siblings would tease her about. For your second story, I agree that having the animals survive is much more lighthearted then having them all die. I do wonder how Helios got them back from Odysseus, since it seems like Odysseus was still on his ship when it was pushed back to shore by the dolphins. Overall, I really enjoyed your stories and look forward to seeing what story Eos has to tell.
Hi Hayley, I really enjoyed reading your story about Selene! It was easy to follow and flowed smoothly. I think it is a great characterization of sibling relationships. The way you characterize the siblings makes them feel really well connects and helps to reader to truly imagine the situation I think you did a great job at accomplishing your goal for this story. Your author’s note also helps to clarify some questions I had. I also like how this is a story about telling a story, and that is very evident. I like how Selene adding extra details into her story (as everyone does) just to see if her siblings were still listening. I think the best aspect of your story is how you incorporated humor into your characters and your overall story. This makes the story even more relatable and acts to help encourage the reader to read your story. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHey there Hayley! Your storybook writing is absolutely amazing! The stories from Selene and Helios were so fun to read. The banter between the siblings was so realistic and funny! The banner images on each page were very well selected, as they clarify which sibling is the god/goddess of each element. It's crazy to think that everything happened in the same night. I've never actually read Odysseus, but I do have enough knowledge to appreciate the reference. I thought it was odd that the introduction was written in first person and acknowledged the reader as a character, but the stories didn't. The pictures in the stories felt a little forced. Is there a way you could maybe space them out in the stories? Or just make them bigger and put them at the end of the stories? I can't wait to see what Eos did that night! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley! I loved your storybook! It was set up so well, and you are such a great writer. I love how you incorporated so much humor into your stories. I immediately recognized the Gossip Girl influence with the "I Know What you Did Last Night" reference. My girlfriend made me watch it, but in exchange she tolerates the occasional episode of Family Guy. Your introduction was amazing. You did a fantastic job of laying out characteristics of all the siblings. I love that you included little things like "which mortal to curse" or "who controls the sky." What if you had them get into a food fight at brunch? I feel like that would be really funny to keep your humor going throughout the story. You could maybe even have a couple mortals killed in the ensuing food fight combat. Loved you project. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Hayley! First off, I have really enjoyed your storybook so far! I love the layout of the website and how everything is looking! I also love that you have added a cute little picture of your dog on your comment wall; it adds a nice touch! Also like Hayden, I also recognized the Gossip Girl influence in your blog, and that was really cool to see! Your introduction was perfect, and I think it helps the readers understand everything they are about to read and it gives them a nice start to get into your storybook project. I also think your writing is incredible! You have a very unique style that is different than anything I have read, especially from this class, and I think it makes your stories all the more interesting! I look forward to reading more from you as this semester goes on! Great job so far!
ReplyDeleteHello Hayley! I really enjoyed reading the Selene story and was glad to see that Helios was completed now. I think the format you use on your page is very pleasing to the eye and allows the reader to view the image without feeling like there is a disruption in the flow of the story. For this story I really enjoyed how you incorporated more Greek gods into the plot and showed how their relationships work. A favor for a favor. I feel like the story may benefit from one more visual reference. Perhaps when Helios describes Poseidon's actions towards Odysseus you could have an image representing that. Besides that I think everything works together very well here! I'm looking forward to seeing what other Greek deities you include in your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley! I love the storybook idea, I remember reading it back when it was only an introduction and I was very excited to see that you had added some stories to it by now. The way that you write your story as a very personal narrative makes me feel more involved as a reader and draws in my attention. The sibling rivalry that you have built up reminds me of the relationship I have with my brothers, haha, which makes it very entertaining and makes it sound very approachable and "down to earth" (despite it being on Mount Olympus). The way that you use capitalisation and other visual elements really add on to the drama of the story and makes it much more entertaining. Great job and I am looking forward to reading you last story when that gets added!
ReplyDelete- Anna Margret
Good morning, Haley!
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the perspective of your introduction. I like your creative idea to literally invite the reader to the brunch. It makes it personal and gets the reader excited for the experience. I also thought it was a great idea to describe the food, it helps create the setting and honestly just sounds really good. Now I am hungry.
When reading Selene's story, I laughed at the part where Helios is disgusted after Selene describes watching the boy she says she has fallen in love with. I like the point of view that you have because it helps in a situation like that. I was able to understand Helios' thought process, which I find comical.
I was wondering what it was about Selene that made the boy fall in love with her so easily and hard? Is it because she is a goddess that is so beautiful it is intoxicating for mortals? Also, you mention that Endymion is Zeus' son, but you refer to him as a mortal? Is this a situation like Hercules where he falls from the heaves and is turned mortal, or his he born mortal? I think it would be nice to add more details about Endymion's background. Maybe give him and Selene a day to hang out and get to know each other a little better.
Hello Hayley,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want to congratulate you entirely on your Selene story. The reason I want to congratulate you is because it is VERY hard to throw me for a loop with plot twists or surprise endings, and your story definitely did. From the start of the story almost until the end I assumed that the story would have a happy ending for Selene and Endymion, probably because I have not read the source story and did not recognize the myth. But all of a sudden it turns out Selene is just being a manipulative being and tricking Endymion into doing something really, really dumb. That was weird to read. Apart from all of that, I wanted to say that I think you did a really good job transitioning the original story to a more modern-day gossip style between girls. By the end of it, it really felt like I had just listened in to a conversation by the "popular table" types in high school, so I wanted to congratulate you on that as well. Great story overall, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Hi Hayley! I want to start out by saying that I really like the title of your storybook. This week were we able to comment on any storybook and your title is what drew me in. It made me curious as to what your storybook would be about! After reading the introduction, I really like the concept! It’s funny how the characters argue about things that seem outrageous to humans but normal for gods. The invitation at the bottom of the page is a nice touch. Next up I want to discuss your Eos story. I really liked it! The dialogue is great. You have good tags and beats throughout the entire story. If I were to suggest anything, and this is just me being picky because your story is awesome, I would say to make the dialogue a little longer for each person. There is a lot of one sentence lines between all of the characters. I think that this would add to your story even more! Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Hayley! I really liked the concept of your storybook! I wanted to start with saying I love the layout of your website and thought the pictures you chose fit very well with the overall theme of your book. I have a strong interest in the goddesses and I liked the style you chose to write their stories in. I read Selene and thought it was really impressive. I thought your book was overall well-done, but that tory especially. Now, Selene was really well done! The twist was a really impressive touch. I would've liked to read more detailed descriptions to give me a better image of the story, but I thought your dialogue was really clever and fitting for the style you chose. I started skimming the other stories as well, and thought they were all really cute and had a lot of humor to them.
ReplyDeleteHey Hayley! You seem to have a great story concept going! I really liked the introduction. You wrote it so casually and it was super easy to read because of that. I like how each story was written by a different character. The photos are perfect for each story too. Overall I think you are doing a great job. Can't wait to see the final project. Good luck.
ReplyDelete2. Hi Hayley! This is a fantastic idea for a storybook! I think your introduction gives enough insight that allows readers to know what you will be writing about, plus it makes the reader excited to read more stories. I enjoy the foreshadowing because I want to know what I will be reading before I actually begin to read (just so I know I will not be bored). My portfolio is about Greek gods and goddesses so I am obviously excited to read more from you because I love this subject so much! The flow of your stories is really great and easy to follow along, so keep it up! I urge you to keep writing with this style and I look forward to reading more from you. Next week, I will make sure to come back and read the story you just posted because I have enjoyed your stories so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Hayley!
ReplyDeleteI just read ALL of your stories in your storybook. I liked the sibling closeness of the goddess of the sun moon and dawn at brunch. I love brunch especially the mimosas. I appreciate the work of the invite on the intro page, simple but it is for a Sunday brunch. I also liked how each story is told by a different character, may I suggest on some more as to their appearance while at brunch? like do they have bedhead, some smudged makeup, wearing the same clothes as the night before, etc.. I am curious on how the ending will wrap all the stories together, who will tell it?
Hi Hayley! I love how your Storybook is set up! The Introduction does a great job of introducing the siblings as well as give readers an idea of what to expect in the rest of the stories. In Selene's story, I was not expecting that ending! I was thinking either Endymion would be ditched by Selene or they simply would continue dating... I did not even think about the fact that she is immortal and he is not when they first meet. Overall, your story is really well written and keeps the readers engaged and interested! I loved being able to get a glimpse into the siblings' brunch... if this is what their stories are like, I'd be interested to hear about more of their crazy adventures! I thought it was very relatable to have the siblings feel like they each had to have the best story... it seemed very typical of real life siblings!
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